The First of Many

So I set out this morning to write the next post all about how I decided to home school and what my first few days has been like. I had the whole thin figured out, with pictures and everything. Well, life has a way of throwing curve balls every chance it gets.

It seems like I just can't seem to catch a break. Anyway, life happened and shit hit the fan, so to speak. And my post was no more. Now, the whole purpose in this blog was to be honest and real. Not hide anything, but I find myself struggling with this now. I'm unsure how to move forward after today. I'm scared to be real and honest. I'm scared of the backlash that might occur as someone reads what I'm writing, and takes it the wrong way, or blows it out of proportion. I'm also afraid to be judged. I know the truth, however, some people believe they know my truth and what is best for my family, without even knowing us or our situation. Anyway, recent events have me questioning so much. Am I a good mother? Do I really have my stuff in order? Am I really capable of doing this?

My anxiety has skyrocketed and I know I need to go and see my counselor to talk through what has just happened. I need help working through it and not resorting back to the way I was before I left my ex, or even right after I left him. So I guess this is my attempt at being real and honest about life without divulging too much information, while I figure things out. I promise to write that post about home schooling when my mind is a little less occupied with what I'm going through right now. And who knows, when it's all over, it might make a good post!!!