The Day It All Made Sense

This makes my heart happy!!! I’m sure it would do the same for you if you knew some of the struggles we’ve had in the past 3 years. Getting to this point has not been easy, but we are finally here: and I’m OVERJOYED!!!!

A little backstory for you. My oldest son was diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) in February of his Kindergarten year. I don’t think I’ve ever been so filled with relief, as I was on the day, he got the official diagnosis. I know this may seem weird as it’s more common to mourn the loss of what you thought he could be. But for me, this was one of the best days of my life. It made me start believing in myself again. I wasn’t crazy!!! There was something more going on than I even thought! Now, I can learn how to help my son!

I dove in head first. I set up appointments to find him a BCBA (Behaviour Consultant) to set up a behaviour plan. I hired a BI (Behaviour Interventionist) to help facilitate the follow through of the behaviour plan. I enrolled him in CAN (Canucks Autism Network), PFAN (Pacific Family Autism Network), Access2Card, and any other program that would benefit and help him (and in the process educate and help me). Along the way, while educating myself, I learned that he had a few other diagnoses that common comes along with ASD. He has Sensory Processing issues and Anxiety. I wish I had known the magnitude of these two issues on him. Hindsight is 20-20.

Anyway, back to the reason my heart is so happy. My son was in Public School from Kindergarten and Frist Grade. He had amazing teachers. I can’t say enough good things about them. He had a shared EA, who was absolutely amazing, as well. The problem comes, when there isn’t enough staff or help in the classroom for those with the diagnosis. Yes, my son held it together during school and didn’t show too many signs of distress. NO, that didn’t’ mean he was fine and wasn’t struggling. He let out all his anxieties at home. It became too much and was a safety concern for his younger siblings. It broke my heart!!!! The part that put me over the top, was trying to advocate for him and have him removed from class to do specific things that his Occupational Therapist (OT) said would help him be able to cope during class better, and I’m hit with “We don’t have the staff to accommodate that” OR “He just has to tell us when he’s feeling like he needs a break, and we’ll figure it out!” He was 4 and 5 years old at the time. How was he able to voice this?! He couldn’t! Anyway, I had enough, and pulled him out of public school before the end of Grade 1.

I homeschooled him for the last 2 months of first grade. Then I registered him in a Special Education Distance Learning Program. When I started with the distance learning program, I had to assess my son to find out where he was at. It was the hardest thing I ever had to face. He barely passed Kindergarten, when he should have been entering Grade 2. HE was so focused on holding it together during school, that he never retained anything. I just couldn’t believe it. He was going to continue to get sent to the next grade with all the kids his age, even though he didn’t know the information he needed to be successful. No wonder he hated school so much! Socially he struggled AND academically he struggled. School was his nightmare coming true and he had to go every day. Finally, it all made sense to me. The struggle to get out the door and into the car; The 45 minutes to an hour it would take to get out of the car and into the classroom; and the complete joy and excitement when he saw me at the end of the day.

In the 9 months of homeschooling we did, he passed Grade 1 and 2. In September, he starts Grade 3 with all his friends. He is still homeschooled. He is thriving. He learns differently than most. He is extremely visual and very hands on. He struggles with written output, but he doesn’t have to do much of it right now. Tests look different for him. He will play Lego and verbally pass all his spelling, science, math and social studies tests. He uses computer programs for reading and math. Yes, he plays games online but is learning concepts and is at grade level because of it. He builds solar powered robots and does the most beautiful art. He has so many friends but is now able to see them one-on-one where he can enjoy being with them, instead of it being forced upon him. He is the most social, kind, loyal, empathetic boy you’ll ever meet.

Well, tonight, he came up to me with a book (The Berenstain Bears and the trouble with Chores) and asked if he could read the bedtime story to his younger siblings. I almost started crying. He sat there and read the story flawlessly to his brother and sister. He was so proud of himself. His younger siblings curled up with blankets and pillows and loved every minute of it. You see, they struggle with having a brother with Autism. They don’t understand that their brother loves them but shows it differently than them. He doesn’t like to be touched, hugged or kissed. He doesn’t like to play with them often or the way they play. So, this is one way he shows how much he loves them, and they get it!

Bedtime tonight will always be special to each of us! This is one we will remember forever; each for different reasons. But most of all, this will be the bedtime when we all felt connected as a family.