The Past Does Not Define You

My failures in the past, don’t define who I am in the here and now. I remind myself: I am not a victim. I am not a doormat. I am not to feel shame because of what happened in the past. I am not a bad mother. I am not manipulative and crazy. I did not ask for this to happen to me. I can trust my gut and intuitions. I AM ENOUGH!! I will remind myself of these things until I truly believe it! Until I whole heartedly let it go and be gracious with myself.

I know this is something we all struggle with. It's so hard to be gracious with others, let alone ourselves. But we need to give ourselves grace! I read somewhere that grace is something we do not deserve but receive in ways that are abundantly freeing. When we give someone grace who needs to be forgiven, we forgive them. When we offer grace to someone who can never pay us back, it is real. The same works for when we give grace to ourselves for our past, mistakes and shortcomings.

The more you are able to let go of the past and be gracious with yourself, the happier you will be. It has taken me 3 long years to get to a place where I no longer believe the things I was told in the past. It’s taken 3 years for me to finally not be ashamed of what I went through and to truly believe it wasn’t my fault somehow. It’s taken 3 long years for me to finally be happy in my current life and situation. Don’t get me wrong, there are still really hard days sometimes. Days where I question my strength and God’s belief in my abilities to be a single parent. But even in those hard times, my past stays in the past. I vent! I cry! I pray! I am gracious with myself! Then, I move on to bigger and better things. I hug my kids! I read a book! I dance in the kitchen! I move forward. And that’s the key friends. No matter what life throws at you, keep moving forward. Learn from your past. Be grateful for your present! Plan for your future.

The past doesn’t define your present or your future. I don’t care if you were a drug addict, a prostitute, or any other negative lifestyle you can think of. We all have our demons. As long as it is in the past, leave it there and don’t let it come into your now. Today is a new day and you have the opportunity to reinvent yourself. But in order to do that, you have to step out of the past and let it go! Do not allow yourself to come in and convict or shame yourself. Move forward because there is no way of changing your past. However, you can dictate and change your present and future. Use your past as lessons learned and stepping stones.

REMEMBER: 1) No one is perfect. Even if other people try to make you relive the things in your past, they have their own crap to deal with. So really who are they to judge you? 2) Go and sin no more!! Do not ask for forgiveness for something and then keep doing it again and again and again. Change it! Don’t get caught up in the same lifestyle or crap you did before. Truly let it go and move forward to bigger and better things!! 3) Be gracious with yourself always: grace saves.